That’s right, an American inventor has actually filed a patent to protect an artificial stick for a dog.  It can even come fragranced, presumably ponging of postman or something equally as desirable to your furry friend.  Ideal for those poor doggies that live knowhere near a tree – and yes you can even buy them!  US6360693 Animal Toy (Long), Fetch Stick www.iwoot.com

Chucking it down with rain, but Rover still needs his walkies.  You dread the state of the cream carpets and sofa when he comes back and shakes himself dry.  Not if he has his very own brolly, incorporated within the dog lead.  Keep Rover’s fur whiter than white, and the carpets too!  US2004200437 Combined Pet Leash and Umbrella (Zhadan-Milligan).

If you’ve ever been told off for using your bed as a trampoline, here’s the product for you.  A mini mattress for exercise purposes.  According to The Daily Mail, bed jumping has become the new craze., with people uploading their bed jumping pics to hotelsbycity.net.  This invention allows you to get in some all-important practice.  US2004229738 Exercise Equipment (Hobson)

It’s Friday at last, but another dull day in the office to get through before the weekend begins.  Why not rebel against convention, and wear one of these shirts.  When worn underneath your suit jacket, the shirt looks just like any ordinary shirt with collar and cuffs.  But little do they know that it’s really just a T-shirt, disguised as office attire.  Tackle those spreadsheets in comfort, and flash your extremely stylish shirt down the pub after work.  US2007083972 (Francis).

Been in the rough as much as Tiger lately?  Hows about a golf club with discrete lawn strimmer built into the base.  Perfect for giving the forest around your ball a quick trim, leaving your opponent unawares.  And why not practice your swing in the back garden, giving those unsightly weeds a chop at the same time.  Well here it is – a golf club lawn trimmer.  Take the rough with the smooth, and make the rough smooth!  US6988954 Weed Cutting Golf Club (Buell, Nowell).

Those holiday-makers with an ever-increasing belly, perhaps due to excessive beer consumption, or a baby on the way, can now sunbathe in style!  If you’re carrying excess baggage about your midriff, this sun lounger provides a special hollow in which to hide it.  Intended for mums-to-be, we thought it might also come in handy for those Brits-on-Tour that spend far too much time in the nearest Irish Pub.  US6295668 Maternity Beach Chair (Nation).

Just a couple of days ago the press announced that feeding cows a spicy curry could reduce the amount of methane that they produce.  Cow flatulence is apparently a big cause of global warming.  But we’re not convinced giving them a vindaloo is going to make their gas problem any better!  Perhaps this inventor has a better solution.  He has devised a contraption that harvests the methane, converting it into a useable form of energy.  Imagine fields of rocket-propelled cows…  At least it won’t make the milk taste tikka!  US6982161 Process for the utilization of ruminant animal methane emissions (Herrema).

Yes, that’s exactly what you think it is – a mouse trap in the shape of a cat!  Now we’re not being funny but don’t mice tend to run in the opposite direction when they see a cat… think Tom and Jerry!  Apparently the cat releases a cheesy fragrance, and when the poor mousey moves closer to find the cheese, the cat incorporates a vacuum that suckers him up!  Would you move closer to a giant cat, with serious jaws, that had cheese breath?  US6865843 Portable Electrical Mouse Trap (Jordan).

OK, so it wasn’t actually intended to be an outfit for Ladies Day at Ascot Racecourse.  It’s actually a camouflage coat, but we’re a bit lost in what exactly you’d be able to hide from in that!  The inventor has devised this coat for use when hunting, and stuck an oversized decoy bird to the top.  Wearing Emu on your head is thought to attract fellow birds flying in the sky up above.  Surely seeing a bird that size would have the opposite effect.  US5197216 Combined Camouflage and Decoy Coat (Norris).

Beach holiday booked, and not feeling in the best of shape for those Speedos?  Check out what a simple little bit of elastic could do for you.  You’ll be strutting your stuff in that Mankini in no time… US6048291 Exercise Device with an Elastic Member (Fisher).